So really..?

What do I do now. I obviously wasted my time, lost someone important over this fucking mess. Just watch when I get things back together, someone is going to come ruin it all over again. Fuck this. I hate this bullshit. I need to rant, but not to someone who can't do anything about it or tell me the dude is a douche bag. Cool. I got set up. I love that feeling. It's fucking great. Maybe one day I'll regret posting this. Maybe someone can show me their true colors cos really thats all i've done the whole ride through this mess. Someone needs to help me, because I am about to fucking lose it. Completely.

Goodbye.

There is this guy

that i'm totally-

       and completely

head over heals with.

       of course i'm alone in the situation.

I've been cleaning a lot latley:

Vaccuming the Living Room every 2 days.

Randomly starting to make my bed now..?(Thats really odd.)

Actually FOLDING & PUTTING AWAY my clothes. (This is eve weirder.)

Probably going to paint my rom tomorrow.. FINALLY. (I never cared to before)

[Going to find out if  DIY projects are really worth it........]

My nightstand is CLEAN... WTF?!

My clothes make it to my dirty clothes hamper..?

My disorganized closet is making me want to throw everything out and start over.

jew.

i need to do my math work, but my book is somewhere else.
(probably why something told me not to go to school today)
i need to go shopping, but im DEAD broke.
(i wonder why?)
i need alot of things, but i never make it my priority.
(maybe why i never get it..?)
i need/WANT a D40, probably never get it though because of my priority problem.
(at least before sound & fury...please?)
i need to make this shit hole of a room a better place to sleep.
i need to talk to my father about plans for my room.
(like that will EVER happen.)
i need to stop ranting because nobody ever listens.
(that i know of)
i need to stop drinking soda.
i need to get my shit straight, i dont take life seriously ENOUGH.

Rant.

Being constantly let down by someone you love never feels good. Especially when you try to make your best effort to avoid being let down, doing something to feel let down, or making yourself feel let down. I put up a strong front, because I know it will always get me through the situation I've just been put in. Surley this isn't a place I should be putting this, but doing it anywhere else I feel like it's getting nowhere. Oh well, "shit happens yo." I feel like I'll soon be at rock bottom.

ramble.

Trying to wake up and wanting to go back to sleep turns into sleeping for another 3 hrs. Oh well, good nap. Trying to get my room done is proiving harder than I thought. I have too much crap that needs to just GO. I need to go shopping, also. I want some cute clothes. Everything you see on the internet though is far cuter looking than in real life. Goodbye

-Cory